Negative New Year’s Resolutions

And then, January 1st unfurls itself like a flag, presenting its colors to the world, a boundless number of opportunities in its wake. And with all its pageantry and promise comes an innate, deep-seated desire to make promises and pledges to better ourselves. New year -- new us.

Ah, the New Year’s resolutions --the commitments we make to self-improvement, the unattainable bars we set so high for ourselves that we can never in a million new years live up to.

Well-intentioned proclamations cascade from our mouths like water racing down a mountain: “I’m going to go to the gym four times a week!” “I’m going to lose those final stubborn 15 pounds!” “I’m going to eat better!” “I’m going to cut out alcohol!”