Complaint Box: Atlanta Airport
I passed through security a few weeks ago at the Atlanta airport, and all I could think about was the movie Elf.
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The climax of the movie occurs when the Central Park Rangers crest the horizon and chase both Buddy the Elf and Santa Claus himself. The mounted policemen, harboring a grudge against Santa since he put them on the naughty list years ago, are always shown in shadowy outlines. The Rangers are undeniably mysterious and menacing, an intentional decision made by Director Jon Favreau to liken them to the Ring Wraiths from Lord of the Rings.
And when I look at the TSA (Transportation Security Administration) agents in the Atlanta airport, that’s what I see: angry, menacing, ominous figures dressed in black whose main goal in life is to spread terror and fear.
At best, the TSA is a secretive group, with fluid and unknowable rules. One time you go through security, you have to take off your shoes; the next time, you don’t. One time (and only one time) you pass through and they tell you to take out your liquids and your precious snacks (which you clearly didn’t pack next to your quart-sized Ziploc bag because honestly, when have they ever asked you to take out your ever-loving innocent Atkins bars and cashews?).
At its worst, one certain TSA “faction” functions as a cultish lot with power-hungry members jockeying for position. Apparently the TSA application for Atlanta includes the following prerequisites: 1.Must enjoy yelling at the elderly, the innocent, the nervous, and the young; 2. Must love super-invasive full-body pat-downs; 3. Must harbor a grudge from being overlooked years ago for a position as bus or hall monitor; 4. Must have a penchant for engaging in humiliating, dehumanizing behavior.
Case in point: Last fall, I traveled to Oregon with my mother and my daughter. We moved all of our luggage correctly through the conveyor belt and went through the scanner with no gaffes. (I will note at this point that the shouted commands that were barked at me made me feel like a new recruit at army basic training being bullied by a drill sergeant. And honestly, how do they expect anyone to get all of the steps right when they’re shaking in fear the whole time anyway. Just as we sat down on a bench at the end of the security conveyor belt to put our shoes back on, my mom realized she left her iPad in the bin. True to form a TSA agent starts yelling at my daughter:
“Is that your grandma? Why aren’t you getting that for her? Go back through!”
Because you couldn’t just politely tell my mom she left her iPad?
We flew last month, and it was same song, second verse. David overloaded his security bin. That day’s Ranger had a peculiar way of telling him he needed to take some stuff out of it. Not once did she look at him or speak directly to him.
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She held up her bin and yelled to no one (and everyone): “Nuh-uh! Not today, not any day, not ever!”
Thank God there was a nicer, kinder TSA agent nearby to translate her broadcast.
Oh, she means that you’ve got to take something out of the bin before it can go through! Got it!
We’re not exactly frequent flyers or world travelers, but we’ve been to a few other airports in the last couple of years and, amazingly, we’ve never been yelled at or herded like cattle. We’ve had TSA agents joke with Izzy about a stuffed animal she was carrying, and we’ve been through lines with nice, kind agents who treat you like actual human beings.
Our unfortunate experiences in Atlanta represent a fraction of the TSA workforce. I know that the “meanies” are the exception and not the norm.
Their job is extremely important and challenging. TSA agents are underappreciated and undercompensated. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful; I really don’t. I need the peace of mind that comes from thorough screenings and attention to any small detail that could point to a potential danger.
I’m just asking for a little respect and courtesy from our hometown crew in the ATL.
